i started in film, so i should say, i suppose, that i’m going back to my roots.

film makes you slow down.

there is no screen to look at.

no checking.

there is “do i really want this?”

my rolls have 12 shots on them.

12.

not 200.

not unlimited.

12.

when i click the shutter, it’s because i really really want to.

preserve.

this.

moment.

keep reaching.

xo

A

you’re in that first year of marriage.

you’ve bought your first house.

you’re pregnant.

it’s just the two of you,

forming your own little cocoon.

and then life emerges.

and you see things greater

than you’ve ever seen.

and you feel things greater

than you’ve ever felt.

and it is the closest

you’ve felt

to the presence

of

God.

xo

A

p.s. if you’re viewing this in a reader, please click over to the site to watch the video, which doesn’t appear in the RSS feed.  cheers!  A

while we were walking, the mom spotted this spider web right off the trail we were on.

the lines hook up just so and go around and around.

isn’t it glorious perfection?

the amount of work this must have taken.

and the proud owner sits in the middle waiting for his (or her) dinner to arrive.

the sun hit the web just so,

and well,

wow.

and now as i sit here thinking about my past week, not only in my life, but in those who are close to me and those i’ve met along the way, i look at this web as a representation of life.

wherever you are in the middle of your own life, circles run around you, linking to another.

there are highs and lows.  broken connections.  repairs made.

a line across what seems to be an impossible distance.

or perhaps that’s not individuals in the midst of their own intricate webs, but that is a higher power in the middle with the rest of us all circling and linking.

who knows.

this is what i do know.

today, a father of two prepares to leave for an unknown land, not quite knowing when he will return.

one week ago, a friend said goodbye to his 21 year old nephew as the young marine headed off to war in afghanistan.

last week, a friend of mine, father of 3 girls, summited mt. hood, oregon.

today, in northern virginia, a pregnant mother prepares to deliver her 24-week-old baby, knowing the baby will not survive outside the womb.*

a couple weeks ago, a close friend qualified for the boston marathon.  she is the mother of 3.

less than a week ago, a friend who is fighting stage IV breast cancer with two tumors in her lungs discovered that she has 20 plus tumors in her brain.  radiation has already started.  she has 4 young children.

on saturday, i shot at a wedding, two people in love joining together.

every day 4.2 million gallons of oil are being pumped into the gulf.

and on sunday, father’s day, i met this father who was also celebrating his 7th wedding anniversary, as he and his family also prepare to say goodbye.

deployment is in a matter of days.

life.

it goes on.

and on.

love.

births.

struggles.

challenges.

and yet, people continue to get married.

continue to have babies.

continue to live.

continue to hope.

where do you find yours?

i want to know.

xo

A

*i also volunteer for Now I Law Me Down To Sleep, a non-profit organization of photographers who volunteer their services to parents who are suffering or about to suffer the loss of an infant.

**i’m working on a personal project that i would love your help with.  hope and encouragement.  where do you look for that?  where do you find your strength?  what helps you?  what inspires you to “keep on keeping on”?  thanks much. xo A

Amy’s Army is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to providing grants to women battling any kind of cancer in the Northern Virginia area. Financial assistance is provided for non-covered medical bills, for basic living expense emergencies, and for non-medical expenses related to medical treatment.

This wonderful organization grew out of a team of women ~ friends ~ who rallied around their friend Amy, who was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer at the age of 37. They formed a team for various fundraisers, such as the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life, and they were literally off and running. Their stamina and determination to keep fighting for cancer awareness and for cancer funding is unparalleled, except of course, by their friend Amy’s determination to keep fighting the disease battling for her body.

The fight continues.

I was fortunate to spend an afternoon with Amy and her family several weeks ago. It was as if the stars had aligned to allow such a spur-of-the-moment, impromptu photography session to take place. After weeks of trying to match our schedules (me with 4 kids, Amy with 4 kids, and all that entails with sports and social responsibilities), one morning a mutual friend (thank you Tammy!) placed a single simple phone call and said, “How about 3pm today?”

And it worked.

For everyone.

Outfits were thrown together in a flurry. Showers were had at the last minute. It was hot, and some people (Hi Martin!) don’t like wearing jeans when it’s hot. I can completely understand.

But it was worth it.

I’d like you to see more of that afternoon, and if you have it in your heart (and in your pocket!), please consider donating to Amy’s Army. You can donate directly through their website, and all donations are 100% tax deductible.

Amy, talking to your husband Martin and your sister Elizabeth last night were some of the most memorable conversations I have had in my life.  Seriously.  Your gifts to this world are innumerable.

xo

A

Three years ago, at age 37, Amy was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer.

She has defied odds and continues to fight with courage in her heart and a smile on her face.

I want you to meet her because she is not a statistic.

If this encourages just one woman in your life to do a monthly check or receive an annual mammogram, then that is great.

Amy’s breast cancer has metastasized to her lungs, but she does not let her “cancer” define her in any way.

She is Amy.

She is a mother.

She is a wife.

She is a daughter.

She is a sister.

She is an aunt.

She is a friend.

She is beautiful.

She lives for these kids, and if she can be here an hour, a day, a month, a year longer,

she will be.

This is Cody.  He’s still growing up.

And appears to need a strong motherly influence.

This is a family that strategizes together.

And plays together.

And is together.

I get the sense that this one likes to relax a little.

Just have to say, this is her own pose.

And, in fact, her own request for a picture “here” “like this.”

She made me smile.

And, in fact, Amy’s children all made me smile.

They’re dealing with a lot.

A LOT.

And they are simply the most sweetest most lovingest children.

And, you know what else they do a lot together?

Laugh.

And that, I think, is part of their successful fight.

All this little guy wanted was to get a family picture with everyone doing “bug eyes” just like he had been doing for many pictures.

Amy obliged.

And you know, this may be my favorite picture of the day.

Is it a beautiful picture for the wall?

Probably not.

But, it’s a moment of love.

Between a mother and a son.

It’s a laugh.

Shared.

It’s life.

Embrace it.

xoxo

A

P. S.  And here are a couple more for Amy and her friends and her family.

P.S.S.  Here is a link to more images of Amy and her family.

When you just wish things would stop moving forward and you could hold on to the moment forever…

Hold your children forever.

Your spouse forever.

Your life forever.

Hold them.

xo Amy.

More sneak peek coming soon.

A

This is one of those weeks where Hubs is traveling for work.  Tonight, he is hanging out on Lincoln Road in South Beach, probably smokin’ a cigar.  Maybe not.  Definitely a glass of scotch on the rocks.  Or two.  Tonight, he is “working.”  Widows of the traveling-spouse, you know what I mean.

So, I have the four kiddos to myself.  Get ‘em up, get ‘em fed, get ‘em ready for school, get ‘em out, then 8 hours later, get ‘em in, get ‘em fed, get that homework done, get ‘em showered, and GET THEM TO BED.  Bedtime for four kiddos takes approximately 2.25 hours.  I don’t know why.  But it does.  It is hard work.  It’s like herding cats and trying to play whack-a-mole all at the same time.  Tough work.  And I don’t mean “work.”

At the end of the night, when it’s been all mommy all the time and daddy has been away, those four kiddos sometimes (and here I mean ALL THE TIME) like to get on each other’s nerves, generally bug each other in whatever way possible, like to whine about how I pay too much attention to one or the other sibling, like to generally misbehave.  If you’ve met my kids, I know you may find this hard to believe, but it’s true.

I will just say that tonight was “one of those nights.”  Do you know those nights?  Right now I know there are at least two or three moms nodding along….  A glass of wine would be great tonight.  If I hadn’t given up alcohol for Lent.  Tonight I don’t drown my sorrows.  I endure and feel the emotions.  Darn.  And that perhaps should say “darn” with those air quotes, but you know what I mean.  Oh, woe is me.

So, I came downstairs after finally locking all the kids screaming in their rooms getting the children calmly asleep after nicely enjoying stories together while taking turns politely reading.  I’m exhausted.  I’m stretched mentally.  I just feel like I need a break.  I’m frustrated with my kids.  I’m frustrated that the kitchen is a mess, that the laundry isn’t done, that toys are spread everywhere throughout the house, that I just stepped on a chewed piece of gum (don’t worry Hubs, all on the hardwood, got the whole thing up no problem), that my photography work is sitting over THERE while I need to take care of these things HERE.  Just spent.  Do you know that feeling?

And this is what I found on the counter, next to my purse:

And my heart melted.

THIS.

THIS IS WHY I DO THIS.

Those words, that note, right there in front of me.

They love me.  THEY LOVE ME.

And I love them.

Dearly.

So, as my friend Tracey reminded me yesterday in her great post, find these moments and embrace them.  Let the music sing.

xo

A

PS.  I should add for accuracy that I’ve never met or spoken with Tracey.  We’re FB Friends (that’s FaceBook for all you out-of-touchers), and I stalk her blog.  Oh yeah, I follow her on Twitter too.  Now doesn’t that sound rather stalkerish?  And, oh yeah, I’m taking her online photography course starting next week.  So, yeah, we’re buds.  Like this || close.  Internet friends.  Well, just one step below internet friends.  Acquaintances?  No, we’ve never been acquainted.  Hmmm.  Oh heck.  I don’t know her.  But if I did, I bet she is super cool.

PPS.  Just so I don’t hear it later, I just want to say that hanging out on South Beach is not the norm for Hubs’ business travel.  He works very hard, travels alot, and tries to be home as much as possible, even if means some crazy flight arrangements or flying the red-eye after a long day of meetings.  Business travel and being away from family sucks.  Well, sometimes I’m sure it’s nice, like last night, but otherwise, it stinks.

Upon further investigation and questioning of my children as to which one actually wrote the note (I had my suspicions because one of them is always sweetly leaving me love notes), it turns out the note was actually written by my six year old neighbor who was here to play the day before.  She left the note “because she loves the Reillys and wanted them to think that a leprechaun wrote it).  Totally love her.  I have no doubt that I didn’t “see” this until I really needed it.   xo A

I’ve been absent.  I think it may be a February thing.  This year in particular, there was a lot of snow.  Add to that, shorter days, being cooped up, and you get a big hunkering down ~ almost as if I’m wrapping up into my own little cocoon.  I’m so happy to see March, and I want to thank the D family for opening the door out.

So, the D family.  What fun I had.  The best part of my job is meeting new kids, new little people, new little people becoming bigger people.  I LOVE these ages.  And I love seeing how God has worked his magic in creating different individuals from the same parents, same upbringing, same environment = different personalities, different interests, and different dreams.  Let’s see what I found on this Sunday afternoon!

The little sister, E, and her two big brothers.  Would it surprise you to know that on this afternoon, she had just gotten back from a laser-tag birthday party where she was the only girl in attendance?!  Probably not.  With two older brothers, I get the impression she is not your dresses and dolls kind of girl.  The entire session, she was climbing, swinging, more climbing, jumping.  When it came time to climb high up onto a tree-stand play house, she refused her oldest brother’s help and insisted on doing it herself.

I’ve known E for several years now.  She and my E have played soccer together for about three or four seasons.  I’ve done the team pictures and individual shots, and can I just tell you, this girl is beautiful.  And she gets more and more beautiful each year.  Her eyes.  Wow.  As I shot her on this day, I saw shades of her as a teenager.  Mom and Dad, watch out!

The middle child, R.  This guy cracked me up.  Such a fun personality and great sense of humor.  He was hesitant for me to take his photo, so I had to catch him unawares at times.  It became a game, and I had fun playing.  As the session went on, R started coming up with shots for me to try.  Down below, the Abbey Road shot, all his idea.  I liked his imagery.

A family of gorgeous eyes, as you can see.

I love eyes.  Probably just about my favorite part of a person because there is so much there, so much presence (or not, and that tells you something too).  The oldest here, C, had such genuine eyes, laughing and fun.  And what a smile.

He is a budding actor (just had the lead in the high school play), a talented musician (plays four instruments),  and a great guy.  And as he told me, collared shirts?  Not really his style.  He wanted to make mom happy, but when we were done, I had him change so that I could get a few shots of him as he sees himself, doing what he loves.  And here he is.

R ~ here’s your Abbey Road shot!  Love it.

And then it was time for me to go home, though I would have loved to stay and play Rock Band, but you know, my kids were waiting for mom (my other calling). 

I love this last shot.  The sister with her big brothers.  It was such a natural togetherness.  And though there are differences amongst them, the love, caring and support is unmistakable.

Thanks guys for a great late afternoon.

xo

A

So one morning, I took her kids off her hands for a couple hours.  We went for a walk.  We talked.  We explored.  We made silly faces.  We hung out.  And I got to know those kids in a way I hadn’t before.  And these are kids I’ve known for years.  Let me introduce you to their spirit.

Here they are, just the two of them, older sister and younger brother. Gorgeous brown eyes.

The girl, L, is a friend of my oldest daughter.  In fifth grade, she’s at that “tween” age.  That’s what they call it now.  Somewhere “in between” the younger kids and the teenagers.  In that “in between” of trying to figure out who she is, what she likes,  what’s important to her, how she wants to dress, a whole world ahead of her.

You can look at her and almost see the beautiful teenager and further on, the woman, she will become.

But, she’s still young.  And you can’t forget that at this age.  She couldn’t wait to wear some of her new stuff from Christmas.

She was loving her new black boots!  I remember at that age, I wanted heels so badly.  And when I finally got them, I’m pretty sure I wore them everywhere, whether appropriate or not.  But, L here, she was rockin’ the boots.

And her new nails!

Soon she will leave the “tween” phase and move on to a bigger world.  Where there are bigger decisions to make.  Until then, capture the beauty, the innocence, the way they are, as they move forward and onward….

And then there is the little brother.  This guy, like most boys I know, was a spirit in motion.  Here, there, and everywhere.

Climbing, jumping, running, picking up sticks, playing with sticks, throwing sticks.

What an imagination too!  The sticks were guitars, swords, baseball bats, you name it.  Active, active, active!

I did catch him unawares in one quiet moment of reflection.  But, believe me, this only happened for a brief nanosecond.

After we took some shots, we headed back to their house where their cousins had arrived from Pittsburgh.  It was fun watching them all together and reuniting.

The sun started to set and it was time for me to go home and make dinner for my kiddos.

The boy, well he just hopped onto his pogo stick and continued moving ~ everywhere.

Capture it now, I tell you.  Capture it now.

xo

A

Two of the kids are local to my area, and the other two girls are cousins, visiting from Atlanta.  It was amazing to me how much they were all like one big family, more like brothers and sisters than cousins.

Most of my time was spent chasing after them as they ran on ahead.  They kept trying to convince me to follow the trail to the end, though no one seemed all that positive about where it ended.  When we got to this, I told them it was a sign.

Time to turn around!

He is the lone boy in the sea of girls.  Seems to hold his own though.

His sister.  They get along as you would expect brothers and sisters to get along.

And this little girl had a tooth I was just dying to pull out.  It was the mom in me.

She and her sister were buds.

But, together, the four of them were like the three musketeers.  Or like the four musketeers, if there were such a thing.

Do you like the nails?!  They did that in the morning before I arrived.  They were completely loving their nails.  Well, the girls that is.

Is there a cuter crew?  It was so cold that morning, and the kids were having a blast blowing steam.  When I asked them to do it on camera, the boy held his composure.  The girls were all over it.

Same thing with the funny faces.  Every.single.time.  I would get three girl funny faces.  And one boy smile.  So sweet.

And then it was time to go home.

And we ended just like we had started.  The kids running ahead, and me walking a bit more carefully behind.

Neither snow, nor wind, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays {this photographer} from the swift completion of {her} job.

hehe.

Can’t wait till next year!

A